Say my name and most players will remember me as a middling agent, if at all. Ask agents about me, and they know the truth: I was a fixer.
Maybe youre picturing George Clooney and Brad Pitt in Wolfs or some slick character from a John Grisham thriller. Well, I was never involved in shootouts or rolled up to crisis situations in a tailored tuxedo. Hell, I wasnt even called a fixer. My nickname was mop man, which I hated. I played football in high school and worked in the athletic department in college. Becoming an agent was a way to stay in sports and make a living. It just didnt turn out the way I wanted.
Many members of my family have worked in law enforcement, so I knew people and understood that sometimes getting things done means bending the rules. When I was grinding as an assistant at my first firm, I used those connections to help my bosses wiggle their clients out of some messes. Since I could never hold onto any marquee clients (they kept getting poached by senior agents, but thats another story entirely), I figured out the surest path to a steady paycheck was letting the hotshots do their jock-sniffing while I handled the things the jocks didnt want the public to sniff. Let me be clear: Among professional athletes, golfers are practically choir boys. However, the cleanest are basketball players. Although there have been a few serious scandals in the NBA, this has been my experience. Golfers get themselves into sticky situations on a more regular basis, and given the PGA Tours squeaky-clean image, both golfers and their management teams are perpetually and understandably paranoid about bad publicity. Thats why there are mop men.
One of the most sensitive cases I worked on involved a massive gambling debt. (No, not THAT famous lefthander who comes to mind when you think of betting.) Las Vegas casinos often have let celebrities rack up enormous tabs. Instead of cash, a casino might let a celebrity settle by schmoozing with its high rollers for a weekend. The golfer in this story skipped town after losing big in both a hotel card game and to an actor on the casinos course. It was a very bad weekend that left a mess. I ended up meeting with representatives from both the casino and the actors hustler-friend in Los Angeles (I wasnt taking that meeting alone in the desert). The negotiations dragged on for three days, and there were several moments when I thought the other side might leak the whole mess to TMZ out of spite. Eventually we hammered out a deal: The player would sign over his incoming equipment endorsement to the actor and play several rounds with the casinos biggest whales. Years later, I caught an interview where this player talked about how his wife saved him from going down a dark path. I had to laugh. Buddy, that was me who pulled your ass out of the fire.
Another memorable incident was an October night shortly after the regular season. A tour player totaled his car driving like he was auditioning for Fast & Furious. Fortunately, it was a single-vehicle accident with no drugs, alcohol or property damage involved, and he walked away mostly unscathed. It was really the first time this young golfer had gotten into trouble, and he didnt handle it great. When the golfer desperately pleaded with the witness to not call the cops, the witness saw dollar signs. He basically told the golfer to make his silence worth his while. Within 30 minutes, I had the witness set up with courtside seats to three NBA games and dinner on the firms dime.
Ive mopped up a decent number of incidents that involved alcoholnot DUIs, just a golfer making a fool of himself. Then there were the affairs. The occasional cheating scandal had to be managed quietly. In one case, we got word that a players wife was stepping out on him without his knowledge. Im not proud of this, but I went straight to the wife and showed her exactly what a post-nuptial agreement would look like if she kept up. That took care of that problem quickly.
Honestly, now, looking back, most episodes werent really that messy: missed bills or payment issues, problems golfers had with housing contractors, vague contract language with claims players hadnt fulfilled certain obligations. A huge number of cases involved golfers kids. For a period, it felt like I was talking to principals or teachers once a month.
Tickets, autographs, cashalmost always these little pieces of paper were enough to fix a problem. One bartender, after witnessing a golfer get rowdy at a clubhouse bar and cause a scene, wanted a helicopter ride. Never been in one, simply wanted a joy ride. If I remember correctly, we had him up in the skies the following weekend.
As you might be wondering, the answer is yes, Ive fulfilled a lot of requests for Masters badges, but getting a person to play Augusta Nationalsorry, out of my jurisdiction.
The real key in all these situations is the negotiation. Where other agents screw up is they immediately jump to tickets, cash, etc. They have no people skills. What I realized early is whoever I was trying to silence needed to be heard. Whatever gift was coming their way, ultimately, was secondary.
I got out of the business some time ago. It was too much of me doing all the hard stuff while other agents got the benefits. Now I mostly consult for events management. But Im not going to lie, I smile whenever a scandal comes to light because I know if I was still in the business, you wouldnt know about it.
More From Golf Digest
Golf Digest Logo Undercover Caddie: My player wouldnt stop cheating, so I quit
Golf Digest Logo Undercover Pro: ‘I can no longer have fun playing for nothing’
Golf Digest Logo Undercover Pro: An inside look at golfers fighting with the media