What if I told you that just in the past week, as Jake Paul and Mike Perry have been building to their boxing match at Amalie Arena in Tampa on Saturday night, the following things have happened:
Perry attacked a mascot dressed in a suit shaped like a can of deodorant and had to be restrained by security.
Paul showed up to the pre-fight news conference with a graduation cap labeled private school Perry, which might be the first time in history anyone has ever accused Perry of getting an education that was too good.
Perry told Paul he would dig through your eyeball and find your memories. Before he could explain what he would do with those memories, Paul replied (with perfect comedic timing), please dont do that.
Now what if I also told you that, all that aside, this is arguably the most serious boxing match Paul has had in his brief but memorable pro career? Its true, and it boggles the mind.
From the outside, everything about this fight seems like a bad trip caused by some combination of energy drinks, ayahuasca and microplastics in the water supply. Both men are, objectively, pretty absurd. At least one of them seems to be doing it on purpose. Both of them are doing it to great acclaim and no small amount of riches.
Paul has somehow gone from Disney kid to professionally obnoxious YouTuber to bafflingly decent boxer the kind of career you can really only have in This Modern World. Perry went from mid-level UFC welterweight to MMA cautionary tale to well-paid and weirdly, widely respected bare-knuckle boxer, the last of which is a phrase that only makes sense in either 2024 or 1890.
The original plan for Saturdays event was for Paul to fight Mike Tyson in AT&T Stadium live on Netflix. As counterintuitive as it sounds, please believe me when I tell you that was a less serious fight than this one. Tyson is almost 60 and, as we would come to learn, not exactly in fantastic health. It was intended to be a pure spectacle, and it probably would not have resulted in a very interesting or meaningful fight.
This bout against Perry, on the other hand? It might be in a much smaller venue and hidden away on a somewhat niche streaming service, but it is actually a real fight against a real opponent, and for a few different reasons.
One is that, unlike the other former UFC fighters that Paul has faced in the ring, Perry is a) still in his athletic prime, and b) a guy who always fought better on his feet than on the mat. He also comes into this with actual boxing experience, even if most of it is of a very specialized type.
Its fair to say that Perrys fighting career was resurrected by his time in BKFC (thats the Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship, in case youre a total newb). There his mix of phone booth fisticuffs and complete disregard for his own face proved to be the perfect combination of skills. The man has legit boxing skills that are best put to use in a small space where he can do maximum damage. To fight Perry is to be confronted with someone who is constantly proving that life is not some precious thing to him. He wades into these battles as if his only goal is blood on the floor and hes not too particular about whose it is.
Paul hasnt really fought anyone like that. There seems to be some part of him that secretly believes he could be someone like that. But you cant fake that thing, whatever that thing is that Perry has. And one of the appeals of fight sports is their ability to act as a truth serum that tells the world who you really are.
Paul has fought some great names (Anderson Silva, for instance). Hes even fought at least one decent boxer (Tommy Fury, who gave him the lone loss on his record). But he hasnt fought anyone with this exact combination of gleeful malice and actual surprising skill. Its a real fight, even if almost every shiny little thing about it seems, from a distance, completely ridiculous.
Am I wrong for feeling genuinely excited about that? Maybe. Pauls greatest talent so far has been target selection, picking just the right people to beat while trolling his way from one payday to the next. His primary selling point as a fighter is that it doesnt seem like he should be able to keep getting away with this.
Perry might be just the sort of maniac who could force him to prove he really, truly belongs here. And wouldnt that be the wildest twist of all? Wouldnt it be and I kind of hate myself for even suggesting it maybe even a little bit satisfying?